Could it happen here?

I struggled last week trying to make sense of the senseless. The terrible shootings at Virginia Tech: the young lives that had so much potential; the popular professors who had inspired so many; the one desperate life that so seldom spoke but screamed by taking so many lives with him.
Like the Psalmist, we cry out to God! Where is justice? Where is righteousness? Where are you in all of this? Did you go on Spring Break, God? How could you allow this to happen?
Did the mental health system fail us? Did the gun control laws not work? What changes do we need to make to make sure this never happens again?
What changes do we need to make to make sure this never happens again? Yes, it bears repeating.
In our society we are great at placing blame. We find someone to take the fall. Who in the Justice Department must leave? Who does the 9/11 Commission say was responsible? Should Nifong be disbarred? How about the dog food crisis?
We aren’t nearly as good at accepting responsibility, particularly when it hits close to home.
I can’t and won’t judge those who were around this young man. I can’t say I would have done any better than roommates who got no response from him in sharing a room with him for a school year. Or the mental health professionals who tried to crack his tough shell.
But I should have tried. And I should try.
One of the things I love about living in a small town is caring people. Depending on how you look at it, it’s a burden as well. Maybe a yoke.
We all are little people at times in our lives. We get depressed, lonely, and sometimes in this big world, we feel like we don’t make a difference. In the big city, it’s easy to feel lost. You’re a number, an address on a street, and a piece of mail that says “occupant.” Maybe someone says to you emptily “Let’s do lunch sometime?”
When you go to a small school, it’s harder to get lost, particularly if you are around caring people. If there are fewer than 100 in your church on an average Sunday morning, caring people know when you are not there. If there are five people at your work, it’s easier taking the time to listen to someone’s problems.
When you see someone coming down the street that you know is hurting, in the big city it is easy to turn away and say you have somewhere else you are suppose to be right now. In a small town, it’s easier to take the time to stop and say I can make a difference today. Even when that person is hard to love, just making the effort says something powerful to that person: that you care enough to try.
I get frequent emails about children who are battling enormous medical monsters. I see community rallies to help pay medical expenses for families in those circumstances. Whose heart isn’t touched by the struggles of the helpless and young?
How about the unlovely? How about the ones who make us feel uncomfortable? How about the ones who don’t return our kindness as we would want our kindness returned? How about the young man at Virginia Tech who wouldn’t speak back when spoken to?
Could it happen here? It could if there aren’t enough caring people around like you and me, who take the time to say, “You’re important to me!”

A higher calling

I read a couple of columnists (Melanie Sill and Ted Vaden) in the Sunday News and Observer. They said some things which caused me to change what I was preparing for you this week. Kudos.
I will say some things which some of you will disagree with. I make no apologies for that. To do less would shame this newspaper.
As is our responsibility, I call on our town board to make the “right” decisions for our town as they consider the coming budget. I cast no illusions. I believe these are troubling times ahead for the town, and I believe it will take men of courage to do the “right” thing.
What is the “right” thing, and why do I put it in quotes? For some the “right” thing is always clear. As long as you agree with them, you are in the “right.” For many of those people, the right thing is always cutting taxes, or at the very least not raising them. Clear cut and simple, right?
Before I soil my roots and my heritage, I was raised in those traditions. I believe well meaning people too often, particularly at the federal level, have believed that the federal government was better at spending money than individuals are, and they have labored long and hard to make money decisions for people before they had the chance.
While I still hold to those beliefs, I have found that there are times when it is for the collective good, the “right” thing, again just sometimes, for the government to make investments. I try to secure my wallet when I hear of that, but nonetheless, there are times when it is warranted, at least in this man’s opinion.
The Princeton Town Board is faced with the decision to raise taxes. I think it is a given that taxes will have to be raised, and I’m sure that has some on the town board, maybe all on the town board, cringing a bit at those who will offer their criticism of any such move, convinced they are “right” and the town board is “wrong.”
The board can try to get by with as few of cents increase as possible, but I ask them to consider getting by with as little as “humanely” possible.
I was reflecting earlier about the number of town clerks we have had working for the town in recent years. I can name four without trying. In fairness, two were near retirement age, but still, four?
How many police chiefs can you name? Some of those were good guys I would have liked to have stay.
You want to talk about maintenance workers?
Is the town better served by having new people working here every few years? What does it say to those who look to come to work for the town?
Let me offer a few reflections. It gets frustrating when you are trying to do a good job and you are constantly training new people. It sends out a bad signal when those who have been there longer are leaving because they aren’t getting treated fairly. It gets old when you get told over and over again, even though you are doing a good job, you won’t get a raise because there isn’t any money for a raise.
For those of you feeling justified with those words because they apply to a public employee, put yourself in your job experiencing that. Just because someone works for the taxpayers doesn’t make it right.
So I don’t sound above the fray, let me say I made some recent tough decisions around here. We let a man go, who was doing a good job, not because we wanted to, but economics dictated it. Sure, I could have endangered the long-term health of the company, or I could have asked everyone to take a 10% cut in pay, but I will ask many of us to work harder to make up for the loss. If we wallow in economic hardship for long, we won’t be in any better shape than the town is. My experience is that some will endure a hardship for a while if necessary, but it gets old.
We lost another employee, and while I have worked hard to ensure that everyone feels confident after the changes we made, I don’t know that his leaving wasn’t at least in part a lack of confidence in our emerging a strong company.
That brings me back to the revolving doors in Princeton, where new people are always seemingly coming and going. Is the Town of Princeton a good place to work? Does the town board truly appreciate those who work here, more than just signing a proclamation saying they do? Or would they rather train a new group of employees who will work cheap?
I believe the town board is a good group of men who try to do the “right” things for the Town of Princeton. I believe they serve for all the best reasons. I believe they want the best for the taxpayers of Princeton.
As they consider the new budget, I ask them to consider “Do unto the town employees as you would have your employer do unto you.” There’s something Golden about that.
They’ll work with you, but saying “there’s no money to pay you” is getting old, and it’s starting to stink.

With apologies to Fremont

Several weeks after a recent column by our recently departed editor, Dave Williams, he heard some calls of unfairness from Fremont officials. Let me take the rap on this one and offer an apology.
I won’t deny any responsibility here. Dave and I talked over his column on the hiring of a police chief, and I was a party to the conclusions, though I didn’t personally scribe them. I recently got out his column on the matter and still don’t fell uncomfortable with what Dave said.
As he states, he is judging by appearances, and appearances are all we have to go from on this decision. Given a lack of other information, we have to go with what we have. If that leads us to the “wrong” conclusion, give us information to help us understand the “right” one.
I presume all on the town board are very excited about the hiring of Ronald Rawlings. I hope all see him as the right man for the job. In this man’s opinion, that needs to be stated more affirmatively if that is in fact the case, and we are told that.
At the risk of protesting too much, let me conclude by saying we will try to make it right. Town board, give us statements to publish.

Speaking of Fremont, I was making photos of the ribbon-cutting at You’re Home Realty last week and discussed the Daffodil Festival with the mayor and several town board members who were there. I would concur with the conclusions it was the best ever.
It seemed the crowd was as strong as it have ever been, and it seemed to be more sustained than in some years. Certainly the weather cooperated, and we had near ideal conditions, certainly better than in some windy, some cold years.
Congratulations to those who organized and coordinated the efforts this year. Certainly we have a strong tradition and a loyal following. Still, it takes some hard work to keep things going.
It’s a big credit to Northern Wayne.

I was delighted to see the new “Welcome to Fremont” signs at the entrances to the town. As one of the many who was touched by Anne Hinnant, I was also touched by the remembrance of her below.
While she was one of the pushers of Fremont, always trying to bring forth the best in the town, she was most humble. She wanted others to be in the spotlight.
I suspect she would be uncomfortable with the signs, but they certainly reflect my sentiments, and I know those of many in Fremont.
Thanks, Anne, and thanks, Frank.

Is bad good?

I ran into some bike riders the other day. I remember a biker and his biker chick were decked out in some rather nice looking leathers. I know he had some facial hair, but otherwise they looked rather nicely kept. While they looked “bad,” I could easily imagine them riding to a Cary home and slipping into a six-figure income corporate lifestyle during the week. I’m not sure this was his bike, but one there had a personalized plate that read “abadboy.”
I guess the seeming to be putting on a “bad” persona struck me. I don’t know that these are good or bad people, but they want to at least look like “bad” people for an afternoon.
I don’t have a problem with bikers. My half brother has spent much more time on two wheels than four, though he’s slowing down a bit. Being on two wheels set him apart, and to some extent, classified him as a maverick. He didn’t want to fit in, and maybe he wanted to seem a little dangerous. He wanted to be “a bad boy.”
Over the years I’ve hung around Phil and his friends some. Most of them seemed to be pretty decent people.
Phillip was a machinist in a jet engine plant for General Electric for many years. He did a good job and was a dependable employee. He retired some years back with enough to live comfortably for many years to come.
Alcoholism was a part of being that bad boy. Fortunately, he has put alcohol out of his life.
Let me move to the world of professional football.
It seems if you are a 300 lb. offensive lineman, you have got to have a barbed wire tattoo on your bicep. I think it makes you look like a “bad” offensive lineman. If you are a “bad” offensive lineman, are you respected, maybe even feared. Or maybe not.
Are “bad” football players good football players? Maybe of all the teams in football, Oakland has cultivated an image of “bad boys.” This particular last season, they were sorry.
Some teams have gone after some players of questionable character, hoping to use their considerable talents, despite the baggage. Athletes have seemingly over the years gotten passes often, and indiscretions were ignored if not tolerated.
Both the NBA and the NFL have recently taken strong stands against “bad boy” behavior.
There are many on the football field who capture our attention and our idolatry. We are inspired by those who battle the odds, who seize victory from the jaws of defeat. We are inspired by the heroic fight, particularly when it results in victory, but sometimes even in defeat.
We root for the underdog and against the favorite. We applaud the weakling who triumphs over the bully, the David over the Goliath. We applaud the solitary struggle, the noble cause, and those who work to set things right.
There is something very different, though, about William Wallace of Braveheart fame and the “bad” persona that some people put on.
There is a manly persona, a warrior persona, that is part of who we are supposed to be, at least in my book. We are not suppose to wimp out
As I have commented before, I make no apologies for some prejudices that I grew up with. Good guys wore white hats, and they didn’t have facial hair or tattoos. If you wear a black hat or grow facial hair, or got a tattoo while you were in the Navy, I’ll probably get over it, but initially I’m going to be a bit put off by it.
Some people feel it is necessary to look “bad” for whatever reason. I went without shaving one Saturday recently. My wife gave me a hard time the other day for not showering when I came in from yard work. Sorry, but that’s about as “bad” as I get.
While my picture here shows me in a suit and tie, those I work with will tell you I seldom wear that to work. Maybe it gets the column a bit more respect. I did wear rather formal attire one day not too long ago, and my office manager commented about how nice I looked. Maybe I aught to wear something nicer more often?
Appearances do make a difference. They make a statement about who we are, and while we may put on a very different persona at times, it speaks about who we are down deep inside. Those we gravitate towards, and the way others will treat us will be affected.
Do you really want to be bad?

Reach ‘em thru their stomachs

I got a call from an old friend to help out with his church’s BBQ chicken supper. It seems that several hundred barnyard birds were to be used to help support the church’s budget, and he was concerned that they wouldn’t be able to get it all done without an extra hand or two.
I think he’s kin to my wife, who never is assured that all the bases are covered, or that we will get it done on time. And that one time out of ten when her fretting was warranted, she hollers, “See!” And I wonder how many years of her life she took off from excessive worry.
Well, there were plenty of hands there, and maybe a few too many, but as happens, that just gives you more time to stand around and visit. And I got to get to know a rather good fellow who I had met before, but knew little of.
While I wondered what I could be doing that would have benefited me more early on that day, I counted it for profit as the day went on.
I called a friend, as they were worried that they might not sell out of plates, to try to sell a few more. It seems that another church was having a dinner, so he declined.
Later that day, I went to another fundraising dinner to make a photo. I supported another fundraiser dinner the next day.
I recently bought some doughnuts from a lady at the grocery store, selling for her church. When I asked where her church was, she told me it was two counties over.
One of the groups that I normally support was not raising funds this past weekend. I can only guess that they were responding to criticism from local restaurants about taking business away.
That is a common complaint. There is no doubt that a successful community fundraiser does take away from a restaurant’s business.
I also remember in small towns when you had almost no choice for where to go to eat. Even the bigger towns were complaining years back that there were no nice chain restaurants above McDonald’s. Today you have a great variety of choices, particularly if you are willing to drive just five miles down the road. And if you go 15 miles….
People are eating out more and more, and as a result, more and more restaurants are able to be successful.
One of the up-sides of being in a small community is the lack of local restaurant competition. If people want to find something locally, you’ve got a pretty good shot at them.
The down-side is when a local church or civic group has a fundraiser supper, it is going to hurt.
Given the number of people who are regularly going out to eat, and their willingness to support good causes, fundraiser suppers seem to be increasingly popular.
It also gives those who work them an opportunity to get to know one another better.

About two and a half years ago, I got a call from David Williams who was sports editor of the Goldsboro News Argus at the time. He told me he was leaving the Goldsboro paper, and asked if I might consider him for an opening we had.
I had known David for many years, as we would bump into one another at ball games particularly. When we had our basketball tournament, I’m not sure how it all came together, but David served as the announcer for several years. So, I knew him, and I knew him as a good guy.
I told him to come and we would talk. We made a decision that he would come to work for us. I haven’t regretted that decision.
David will be leaving us this week. I’m sorry to see him go, but I believe this will be best for David. He will be leaving newspapers to work for a magazine publisher in Raleigh.
During his tenure, we have changed dramatically the face of the paper, begun our web page, and advanced how we are going about things. I appreciate his hand in all of that, and he was a key player.
As this was not planned, I cannot say that I had planned for my daughter to step in to help fill his slot, but Ashley, who will be getting her master’s degree in May at NC State, will be filling much of David’s duties beginning next week.
She grew up in the newspaper, literally, as during many long nights she and her sister would be there doing their homework, or helping put inserts in the newspaper. She has helped fill in during times when we have been away, and both she and her sister have been there during summer breaks.
Again, this was not any part of any grand plan, but it makes some sense, particularly right now.