Where are their parents?

As the parent of a couple of college students, I probably note with more interest two big stories in our state: the Duke Lacrosse Rape Case, and the shooting death of the college student in Wilmington by law enforcement.
A lot of the media attention on both cases has suggested that the authorities are the ones in the wrong in both of these cases, and seemingly the young people are being wronged. While I can argue the merits of cases being tried in the media, and the distortions that can bring, I am more concerned about the young people’s decisions and those of their parents.
I can remember back to my college days and the son of a doctor or a dentist, his parents divorced and his dad set him up in a house. I think he was going to school, though I’m not positive. It was a place a lot of us went to party. I may have come closest to death one night there.
I made some terrible choices that night. It scared me. Maybe I was a little more careful after the next day when I realized what had happened, though I can’t say that I was scared enough.
While my parents loved me, and they gave me a lot, they didn’t try to help me with some decisions like I wish they had. They gave me rein to make some mistakes. Fortunately, this mistake was not devastating, but it could easily have been.
I am not naïve enough to believe that I can prevent my daughters from making mistakes (they’ve made some), and they have to start making some of their decisions, but I can try to help them the best I can to avoid the bad ones, and hopefully the mistakes they make won’t be major ones.
The rape accusation over the heads of the Duke students is said to be “ruining their lives.” What about the decisions to rent a house off campus to party and bring in strippers?
Obviously many young people at Duke are given access to significant funds, as many of their families are wealthy. Like my friend, they may not have a lot of accountability for those funds.
I guess you could say that the young man in Wilmington fell in with a bad group. Judging by the photos his defense lawyer and father provided the media, he seems to be an innocent youth. You have to wonder what kind of fellow hangs around people who end up being accused of beating up other students and robbing them and who brag about carrying guns.
I can’t help but think many attitudes about this would be vastly different if the young man were black, and we called the apparent thugs he was hanging with a gang.
He was living in a house his dad paid for, and he made some bad choices.
Yes, a lot of young people make a lot of good choices when allowed, but a lot of them also make some mistakes. Sometimes those decisions can be life changing, sometimes fatal.
As parents, do we have a responsibility to check on what our kids are doing while they are at college? You can argue that these young men may not have gotten much of a moral compass to make these decisions in the first place, but they are going to have different influences in their lives. If you and I as parents fund bad decisions, allow them to continue, or don’t even try to check up on them, do we take some responsibility?
I don’t believe they ever stop being our kids, and I don’t believe we should ever stop loving them. I don’t think we should ever stop trying to protect them from the bad things in this world, and we should never stop trying to keep them from making bad decisions.

Get over the sticker shock

As per the request of county commissioners, the Wayne County School Board recently compiled a list of school construction needs. When the list came back to the county, the total supposedly staggered some. Some are already dismissing the amount as too big.
Get over it.
I don’t think there are any swimming pools being added to any of the schools or deluxe teacher lounges. Or leather furniture for a principal’s office.
School construction money in Wayne County for many years has been whittled down to little more than bailing wire and what you can get by with for now, just like current expense money. What the schools have gotten in recent years has been hard fought, just like the money in this year’s budget, which went to arbitration.
Yes, it is a whopping big number, but it really shouldn’t be that surprising. Get over it.
County commissioners have recently toured the schools and seen, first hand, much of the needs across the county. Many of our students are not in reasonable learning situations. That the staffs at our schools are effective despite the working conditions is remarkable. It’s a credit to both the teachers and the students.
What is on the books right now for construction does not even reach the most pressing needs in northern Wayne County. Both Norwayne and Aycock are too big. They are trying to process too many students through those buildings every day. There are too many students packed into the hallways not to have more fights break out. There are too many students they are trying to feed every day.
The Freshman Academy program at Aycock is being hailed as innovative, as it should be. Compartmentalizing the ninth grade at the school is part of trying to cope with the huge numbers at the school. They say that necessity is the mother of invention, and that program grew from just trying to make the numbers work.
I am tired of the wrestling match between the county commissioners and school board over money. Yes, I know it’s important as the county deals with growth issues, and there have been some things that schools probably should have handled better. Let’s move things forward. Get over it.
If a bond issue is needed to help address these needs, or a series of bond issues are needed, let’s get something started. Let the county manager come up with how he would propose to meet those needs. Does he want to address some out of pocket over the next three years or five years? Yes, it is going to be a tough issue to deal with. Get over it.
There are many who feel that bond issues are a way of spreading out the payments for schools over the years they are being used, much as a mortgage allows us to pay for homes over the years we live in a house. I know many of us have conservative backgrounds that discourage taking on debt, but with the costs of today and in meeting growth, most counties have to resort to bond issues to fund new construction. Current interest rates are still a comparative bargain. It’s a good time to finance.
I know some would like to hold on to a proud self-image of a county with little indebtedness. If that means students continuing to attend schools in inadequate facilities, get over it.
We should take no pride in having a low tax rate while still having under-funded schools. We need to get over it, and get ‘er done.

Voting in Beauty Contests

(If you have not voted yet and are reading this column before the polls close, please do not read this as an endorsement or non-endorsement of Jackie Lee. I don’t know enough about her to endorse or not, and while this column could be interpreted as a slam against her, my comments are really about the system, not her.)
I was on a long drive Saturday, by myself, and as I came down US 70 this side of Clayton, I was struck by a billboard for this week’s election. Jackie Lee is running for judge. I think the billboard says “Elect Jackie Lee Judge” and features a large photo of Jackie. She is a relatively attractive lady who wears glasses, at least for this photo. (I wear glasses when I want to look intelligent, but mostly I’m too vain to wear them in photos.)
That’s pretty much the sum and total of that billboard.
In fairness to Jackie, there are severe restrictions placed on what Jackie can say in advertising for judges. Advertising experts will also tell you that billboard advertising is mainly for name recognition in political campaigns.
Still, even when I get mail pieces, it seems that the information that judicial candidates want me to know before I vote in a judge race is they reflect North Carolina values, whatever that means. Of course they seemingly all claim to have North Carolina values.
There are some voter guides out there with some information. There are some endorsements in these races. There are some helps in making the choices beyond just based on how attractive a face there is on the billboard or name recognition. (I like Mark Martin because he’s a Ford man. I know, he’s not the one running for judge, but I can’t help but believe Judge Martin thinks he benefits from the association.)
I’m sorry, but our system of elections works when there is an informed electorate. There is not enough information readily available to most to help them make an informed choice in judge elections. We end up voting based solely on name recognition or pretty faces on billboards, if we vote at all. Fewer and fewer people are influencing who is elected, either in endorsements, or by actual votes.
The system needs change.

I was very tempted to vote early, but did not make it to the polling places. I have not cast my ballot as the polls are not open yet today as I write this early Tuesday morning, but I usually make it.
I’ve been a bit fascinated by some of the television ads for some of the Raleigh area candidates. Both Marilyn and I have commented that we would vote for some of those whose ads we like, if we had had the chance.
Interestingly, when we have seen attack ads from their opponents, released a week or two later, we have changed our minds. I have also been affected by endorsements by the N&O. I respect their opinion, and may or may not agree with them, depending on why they endorse a candidate.
My perception is a significant number of people are voting early. I wonder if they have regretted their votes after getting more information about candidates they were voting for?
I think this will lead to longer campaign seasons, as more candidates try to get out their message out earlier.
I don’t necessarily see the early voting as bad, but I do worry about late revelations about a candidate.

Marilyn was commenting the other day on voting for sheriff. She said if the current sheriff hasn’t done anything to get in trouble, why would you vote against him?
I believe the public perceptions about crime are important in an election, but some may say the press and others can unfairly shape that perception.
It seems there is a patronage system in many sheriff’s departments. The perception is the sheriff hires who he likes, and when a new sheriff is elected, there are a number who suddenly leave the sheriff’s office.
If that is the case, you would at least hope that some of those who leave should have left. Still, it doesn’t seem to be the best way to develop amore professional law enforcement unit.

Speaking of sheriff, it will be interesting to see how the Wake County Sheriff fares in Tuesday’s election.
Donnie Harrison would seem to fit Marilyn’s criteria, at least on the surface. From some standpoints he has done a good job while in office.
He is being challenged by John Baker, who was seemingly well respected when he served as sheriff up until the most recent previous election when he was defeated by Mr. Harrison in a very close vote. (I can’t help but feel Mr. Harrison was helped by his Republican affiliation.)
As has been widely reported, the sheriff was named in an alienation of affection lawsuit, as a husband is suing his wife after she allegedly had an affair with the sheriff. Sheriff Harrison has acknowledged the affair with the married woman, but says he is not to blame for the breakup of the marriage.
We were discussing at church over the weekend the recent revelations about an evangelist/pastor and a male prostitute. One commented that it’s good that we continue to hold pastors to a higher standard.
Do we continue to hold law enforcement officers to a higher moral standard?
Sheriff Harrison says judge him on his job performance, not on his personal life.
Of course, you don’t hear people bragging on being Republican this time around. He could lose based on having an “R” next to his name.

As some of you no doubt noted, we did not do endorsements in this election. This is more a product of our recent staff changes than a change in our editorial philosophy. We will again make endorsement in local races, offering our opinion as more information for your consideration, if you wish.
We did offer interviews in many local races, and will continue to present information to help you make better choices in the election. We salute others who similarly devote space and air time to help us all make better choices in the voting booth.

Dreaming of a Green Christmas

The girls in the Merrill Family and I didn’t set the alarm for 4:30 on Black Friday, but we did bravely venture out at a reasonable hour that day. We went up to Garner to take advantage of some of the super specials offered that day.
It was close to 10 a.m. when we got up there. I let the girls out near the front door of the store we had set our sights on. I started looking for a parking place and located one a significant walking distance, but was pleased by getting that.
I ventured into the store and was amazed at how many people were there, not at opening time but several hours afterwards. As I started looking around for items, I saw a line of people, waiting patiently. I wondered what they were in line for, what super special were they waiting to get their hands on.
As I was to soon find out, the line stretched from the front of the store to the back of the store, and there was a like line on the other side of the store. There were 16 cash registers operating, taking money, plastic and real, just as fast as they could.
I spotted a man on his cell phone, apparently trying to find his loved ones in the store. It was a scene I repeated several times that morning before we left the store. I heard that Black Friday is one of the heaviest cell phone usage days for that very reason.
My wife, Marilyn, asked that I find a shopping cart, but those were not available. They were like gold, precious and coveted. You occasionally would see one, but they were well guarded.
Long before we had finished shopping, Marilyn got in line with a half dozen items at the back of the store. I soon joined her, holding our spot as the girls brought their items, and then went out to find more stuff.
I didn’t time it, but I know we were in line to get to the checkout for an hour. You had to believe that the specials were good enough to invest this much time. This certainly was not something you would accept on a normal day.
As we were going back and forth, I spotted a woman across the store who resembled one of my neighbors. When I saw her husband the next day, I asked and he confirmed it was her.
He told me that he had gotten up there an hour before the electronics store opened, lured by one of their super specials. He said the line when he got up there was stretched not just outside the store, but down in front of the half dozen other stores, down the side of the buildings, and all the way down the back. I’m guessing there was a line of people 300 yards long, lined up an hour before the store opened up.
He told me that he and some friends had done this last year. They literally camp out to save hundreds of dollars.
Unfortunately, there were too many others already in line, and the special he came for was gone, sort of. I think he said about 30 minutes before the store opens, employees start down the line, asking people which special they are there for, and hand out vouchers for the special. Once they pass the number of items they have, they tell the people they are sorry.
He said that some people wait in line now to get their vouchers, then go back home or get in their cars for a while to get some sleep, and come back to get their item before the time limit expires. Amazing.
As you can imagine, Marilyn and I are getting pretty well stacked up with items as we are waiting in line. A lady with fewer items behind us takes pity and gives us her cart rather than watching us straining with the burden any longer. She told us how long she had waited to get the cart when she came in the store, but she voluntarily gave it up for us. It was a rather nice touch of kindness on a day when we see images of people running over others for big specials.
We did make a few other stops along the way, but spent most of our time at this one store. I got back in time to catch some more football on Friday, and actually did some work on last week’s paper later that day.
One of the things that I look to regularly, as it directly affects the newspaper business, is the optimism people are about the future. Even more so than how much money people have in their pockets, people’s spending is affected by how optimistic they are about their future earnings. They are willing to jack up credit card balances based on their optimism they will be able to pay things back when the bill comes.
That also affects merchants. If they are optimistic that people will respond when they run advertisements in our paper and other places, they will run advertisements. If they are not optimistic, they won’t.
Black Friday isn’t obviously your normal shopping day, but it is an indication. Certainly our business has been good, and continues to be good. The merchants in the area are optimistic about business, and there seems to be a goodly amount of money flowing out there.
Expectations can change dramatically, as 9/11 showed us, but we seem to have a very green Christmas season ahead. Hopefully that optimism will be borne out by a strong economy which continues to provide plenty of jobs and maybe some extra spending money to fill Christmas dreams for many.